So, recently the organizers of the Rugby World Cup came out against vuvzelas. Bravo! Those things are abysmal. Terrible. Awful. Horrible. An abomination. Seriously, I hate them. I was all ready to be a fan of this year’s Copa Mundial until I was listening to early pool play on the radio and marveling at how bad the reception was. I mean c’mon South Africa, get some fiber optics or something! When I found out that the killer bee sound wasn’t ancient S.A. technology but in fact ancient S.A. culture I was done. I hardly paid attention to the rest of the tournament. So bravo to the RWC folks for ensuring that rugby fans don’t have to endure that nonsense. Anything we can do to distance our sport from soccer is a good thing.
But why stop at vuvuzelas? I can think of more things to ban. For example, can we ban the referee jerseys worn at the Collegiate Sevens Tournament? What the hell was up with those? For god’s sake I thought a lost and lonely Newcastle United player had wandered out onto the field. I was worried about him, you know what happens when a soccer player is almost touched. I thought he might be killed. But no, it was the referee. It was shocking. I mean really, is this what we have to do to get U.S. viewers involved? Zebra stripes? Yuck. BAN IT!
Can we also ban anyone not talking about rugby from using the word “scrum?” Seriously, there’s nothing that kills a broadcast faster than some idiot calling something a “scrum.”
“Fumble! And there’s a scrum for the ball”
“Loose ball on the court, and now a scrum as players try to gain possession.”
“How he disallowed that goal with that scrum going on in front of him is unexplainable”
“And now a scrum on the ice in front of the net.”
Hey morons, if anything at all these things look like rucks or maybe mauls but they are not f****** scrums! Scrums are organized, legislated, and orderly. Stop calling every pile of bodies you see a “scrum” you ignorant cow. If you don’t know rugby don’t mention rugby. You’re ruining it for the rest of us. BAN IT!
What else should be banned from rugby?